GREGORY Campbell’s ‘Curry my yoghurt’ outburst in the Assembly was as unsurprising as it was unfunny. The line was spoken with all the confidence and panache of Willie Frazer reading a prepared statement, but regardless of the ham-fisted delivery, it had the desired effect of copperfastening Gregory’s unassailable position as the DUP’s sneerer-in-chief. It’s a […]
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Now it’s curry my Gregory after years of quotable fun
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Halloween horror at Camp Twaddell
CONCLUDING PART Big Geordie flexed his pudgy fingers furiously. The pyjama cord that bound his wrists behind his back had cut the blood flow until his hands were white and numb. From across the tiny caravan table scarred with cigarette burns and UVF graffiti, the stranger studied his face silently and intently by the soft […]
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Top Gear’s bottom marks for figures
REGULAR readers of this column will know that Squinter enjoys the occasional punt, so the vagaries of chance are a subject that is of some interest to him. Normally it’s the chances on a Saturday afternoon of this team beating that team, or this nag outrunning that nag. But this week he’s been considering the […]
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The numbers game
PICK a number – any number… That’s normally the line of a TV magician about to pull off a card trick, but in the wake of this week’s Belfast Telegraph poll on the issue of a border referendum, it’s been the number crunchers and analysts in the newspapers and on the airwaves who have been zeroing […]
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Meeting goes downhill very quickly
THERE’S a car half-blocking the entrance to the Andytown News. It’s a black Fiesta with a southern registration and there’s nobody in it. Squinter immediately thinks ‘car bomb’, which kind of dates him. Then he remembers it’s 2014 and he thinks ‘stolen’. But no. Along come a couple, one a middle-aged jogger in running gear […]
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Flegforce flatters to deceive as things stay just the way they are
HANDS up who remembers Billy Hutchinson’s cunning plan promise. Okay, now hands up who has ever managed to find out exactly what the cunning plan was. Thought not. Squinter’s been pondering for a while the apparent inability of unionists to do the things they say they’re going to do – Billy’s stirring response to the […]
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